The importance of female friends for Women’s Wellness!
The holidays are stressful. Women make that statement far more than men! The American Psychiatric Association (APA) summarized from a study produced in 2006, “Women are more likely than men to report an increase in stress during the holidays.” The main findings state, “Many people reported looking forward to the holidays as a time of good cheer. Irony at its best! https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2006/12/holiday-stress.pdf
Many conditions originate with stress, especially if the stress is severe and persistent. A National Institute of Health (NIH) study published in 2017 names several body systems that stress adversely impacts. Chronic stress can actually decrease the brain’s weight by atrophy of brain mass! An increase in prolonged stress produces an increase in blood cortisol (stress hormone) that leads to reduction in memory and increase in fat production in post-menopausal females. Stress, long term and negative has a detrimental effect on the cardiovascular system. Similar degree of impact on digestive system is also detrimental.
Where is good cheer?
Eustress, or benevolent stress can be a positive type of stress that can motivate and energize people. Imagine pictures of happy holiday shopping without trying to find parking space at local malls. Visions of a gathering of friends over cocktails, or chilling on a beach with friends where palm tries have twinkling lights as their version of celebrating the holidays.
Those are my ideas of upbeat happy energy we get from our female friends. Even just one or two female friends can provide energizing vitality. There is a positive energy I recently acknowledged from my female friends. I call this positive energy Estrogen Energy!
Estrogen Energy is the affirmative buoyance I feel when allowed to immerse myself in the positive energy found in my female centric relationships! I’ve always been a part of group of women (3 or more) I hung out with throughout my life, all over most of the world. I did not spend every day with all of them, nor did I see all of them at once. These were always platonic friends who enjoyed my company without expectations or conditions. Trust and communication are key components that is/was the common thread in these relationships. No matter how hard honesty and communication seem, my real friends can handle my truth! I still chat on line or exchange emails with a few international friends but when I speak of energy this is an exchange, I feel strongest with women I interact with in real life (IRL). A friend I met years ago in a chemistry lab formed a friendship with me, resulting in all of us; my partner and her partner doing things together and meshing our families together around birthdays, holidays and momentous occasions. The 4 of us enjoyed exploring the California coast, driving up to Bodega Bay for a few days and spending a weekend in San Francisco to Monetary Bay! We get together for dinners, BBQ and quarterly BUNCO games! In a different part of my life, I enjoy the periodic gathering of other adult women! Recently we attended a Queen revival at Music Box! What a night! About a year or so ago I joined the women in a cabin at Big Bear! It was a weekend of enjoying morning coffee on a patio, hiking the gorgeous mountain scenery and oh the shopping! Then there a few women are breaking the IRL mold. One, a fellow fitness enthusiast living on the other side of USA. She is becoming a welcomed source of positive energy. My east coast e-friend is very active in yoga and pole exercise. She has unbelievable flexibility and is gracious enough to consider putting her energy and positive vigor on video to share her extensive knowledge of yoga and wellness. Recently, I slipped into a dark gray day, I battle depression daily. I recalled a discussion east coast friend either initiated or participated in. She referred to meditation and I felt her energy through the conviction of her words. I’ve incorporated meditation in my morning workout routine! Between physiological sweat and focus of meditation I’ve been able to keep depression and anxiety at bay! My east coast e-friendis a very kind giving woman who exudes confidence, a common characteristic in all the women in my world who share their nurturing, positive energy. When I am in the presence of any one of these small groups of women or individually, I totally forget daily stress and holiday stress vaporizes as I recall the memories!
Women can accept the upbeat energy because our friends who offer us a safe space. Unconditional friendship, belief and empathetic faith are the common strains among us! I believe only women can share this powerful platonic intimate energy. Some men support women, but they do not understand the bonds, the intimacy the belief! For example: I’ve gone to the desert with a specific friend at the invitation of a couple to spend time at their Airbnb home. It is a great weekend with good friends. Neighbors, a gay couple were the most unconditional welcoming hugs of anyone else in the pool that day! I had not laughed so often and so hard before that day in years!
My east coast e-friend wants to visit just to get out of the cold. I told her I have a spare bedroom and joked that I could share my bed with a friend! She replied that her petite body would fit perfectly for cuddling in one bed!
Another female friend can be serious as we sit observing the sunset on Ocean Beach pier and for a while venting her fears to me. A few minutes later she pulls out a special tool box with massage tools inside and we are laughing at how my body reacts to stimulation…again, platonic! The interaction is always empowering, positive and shared among my female friends!
As I write this recalling the events, friends, I feel the empowering aura from all these women! As that positive energy cascades over my body I can put together the upcoming holiday dinner including a dish or 2 for carnivores in the group, 2 with gluten allergies, along with plant based yummy entrees and side dishes for everyone. Amazing how much energy we can get from sincere friends that make us smile, and laugh!
Stay tuned for more information on stress, how detrimental it is to our bodies and a few strategies to mitigate the impact in upcoming blog posts!
